You fight so hard to keep someone out of your life because of the fear of being hurt again. To keep them at a safe distance, far out of the reach of your heart.
And they continue to push their way in despite all your efforts! Then little by little you start to open up, letting them in alittle at a time. And when the wall of armor you've worked so hard to build is gone thats when they go in for the kill. You knew it would happen deep down, but you wanted to feel again so you thought you'd give it a try. But it always ends the same, people will let you down and they will break your heart. So do you rebuild the wall or do you continue to try because you miss feeling the love from another human being?

Humans aren't the only ones with unmanagability caused by addiction!

Our leaders are but trusted serpents.

Our leaders are but twisted servents.

We came to believe that our wifes had become unmanagable.

"Please help me start this meeting with a moment of violence, followed by the serenity prayer!!"

We sought through prayer and medication to improve our concious contact with GOD.

We came to believe that a powder greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

AA Advertisement It's all about the promotion baby. Get RealOne player to hear this one. (it's worth it)

FORD:CHEVY VANILLA:CHOCOLATE REPUBLICAN:DEMOCRAT LIBERAL:CONSERVATIVE SKI:SNOWBOARD NY:LA YANKEES:METS ROCK:RAP DRIVE-UP:WALK-IN...NA:AA

Has anyone ever felt like this about one particular meeting? You get that gasping for air feeling? You feel trapped and bound to it. You feel smothered by it, but out of feeling obligated, you go to it anyway? Nothing seems to change that feeling. Not a format change, not staying away from it for a while, not even talking about it, nothing. It's like you never really were part of it to begin with, but everyone you knew seemed to think it was the bomb meeting, so you went along with everyone. Yet, for some strange reason, you knew it wasn't really for you. Yet alot of people in your network still go there. Every step to the meeting is just pure agony. This is supposed to be your home group but why do you feel so horrible about the whole thing? You don't allow any other meetings to make you feel like this, so why is this one causing so much turmoil? You love Narcotics Anonymous, just not this meeting. What the fuck is going on? Is it my intolerance, my personalities before principles, my shit, or do I just need to keep it simple and find a new home group? I'm not really looking for an answer cuz I'll prolly be talkin to my sponser about it, but I just needed to vent. Thanks.